Never been. Never will be.

Everytime I cry, I think this is the last time this'll happen and yet i find myself crying more often than not. I need to be stronger. i NEED TO BE STRONGER.

Does crying make you stronger? 

Am i looking for excuses, asking the wrong questions?

Maybe I am.

Maybe I have realized that I will never match up to the expectations. I will forever be the rotten person.

Maybe no matter how hard i try, i forget what i'd realized.

Maybe its time to let go, but i find myself running back faster than i walked away.

Is it really about letting go?

Or about seeking familiarity around?

Is it because i stay to prove them wrong?

Or because i have no where else to go?

Understood, that some people have a late start. But where is my start?

Is this the start line? Do i start running now?

Or is it all just a mirage? To confuse the hell out of my already confused life?

Why do i find myself using '?' more often than '.'?

I don't think i have anything more to say to people who underestimate people and do it good.

I will be the phoenix that rises from the ashes.

My.day.will.come.

Every part of the journey counts, yes?

They say you don't remember the bad parts when it comes.

So does it ensure i will forget all the years of my existence? Will it be that good?

That is for time to tell.

Wake me up when September ends?

So for a while there, I'd just lost an interest in tweeting or writing.

But loyal followers are loyal and loyal friends are friends even though I don't rant as much.

I've been taking a break from all ranting and just enjoying.

Not knowing where my phone is has been a relief.

A not so wake-me-up-when-september-ends September.

September has been good.

Maybe cause I asked it to BE good! Politely. In a bb status. =D

Loving and being loved.

Dancing. Loads of crazy ass dancing.

Bottoms up.

Dilli.

Long walks.

Donuts.

Bonding.

Driving.

Smiling like a fucking ferret all the fucking time.

Laughing and getting clicked. =D

Putting my selling skills to use B-)

Lots of ME time.

FOOOOD.

And I've been awake all of september.

Not awake awake. But intellectually stimulated.

And. I've been happy for most part of September.

Looking back, this has been one of the best Septembers of my lifeee.

So much has happened and putting it all down here won't do justice to all them moments.

And September has been all about Speaking up, which reminds me 'if you want more love, why don't you say so?'

Back.. after a long hiatus!

Its been a long time since I sat down and thought through my fingers.
Its been a full plate at life's buffet these past few months.
I'm blasting music right about now, its helping me think, I guess.

Lots of News and NEWs.
I like new. I love change. Unlike most of the people I meet.
Its a big turn off when people are just not adept at adapting.
I love talking. And I'm the most comfortable with silence. Two sides of the same coin and playing the part well at that ;)
I can talk about anything and everything under the sun with you if I like you.

So I got introduced to this thing called the 'Lifegraph' where you talk, you talk about who you are, where you come from, you talk about your highest highs and lowest lows and what changed you and what made you stronger.

Now for someone who loves talking, isn't that fun?
No.

Because I don't like talking about sad and weird things.

I don't like talking about things that are so long back in the past that they're buried and i'd have to dig them up.
Meh. So.much.effort.

Also, If you're ever around me, you know i'm one happy go lucky person who'd hate to have to be serious and put up a stern face and pretend to listen to people pour their heart outs.

No offense. I'm a good listener and all, but just trying to gather some emotion for your fucked up life or mine is just not me.

You fucked up, life fucked you up. Big deal!

Isn't it all about a new day? Going to sleep nevermind the problems.
Don't we all doze off no matter how BIG, LIFE ALTERING, OR blah event/situation is all around us? You can't just stay awake and awake and awake. You have to fall asleep just like you have to blink.

So yes, sleep over it.
And wake up next day.
Do not be afraid to restart and when you wake up, smile.

Smile and hug yourself. So much better already, yeah?

So anyway, back to the LIFEGRAPH.

I didn't really get the purpose of it all. SInce I don't share shitty sad stuff! i'd rather share an Long island iced tea with you.
I love myself FAAAARRR too much to talk sad stuff and blah.

Happy vibes are everything, remember?

But okay, so this guy convinced(?) me to do a one-on-one with him and I happily agreed because i love being sarcastic and blah around him and its fun because he never takes it to heart and mostly because I was curious and wanted to know about His life(graph)?

Selfish much?

So we spoke for life what, 5 hours?
Till 3:21 AM to be precise.

And there was this silence.
And there was this comfort. You only feel it with a few people.

And there was a conclusion. Life is full of suffering and self made/created suffering.

And a question - It doesn't make me feel better or light? Whats the purpose of it all?

Him : You don't feel light or it isn't supposed to make you feel better/worse. You feel free.

And for a minute there, and till a few minutes later that did make sense.
And it does so now too.

I don't know. Weird. I feel free. I think i do.
But haven't i always?

So word of caution lovers/friends : Don't ever come up to me and ask me to SHARE. Thats one thing I absofuckinglutely don't like.

But hey, i'm a good listener and hugger. Makes up right?